Marriages are made in heaven

  • It is a dictum that 'Marriages are made in Heaven and celebrated on Earth". Marriage is a sacred institution involving two persons recognized by custom of law. Specially, in country like India, it is a social obligation because a man is incomplete without marriage. Nevertheless, it is union of two families as well. It is a social obligation between the partners.
  • Though, with the passing of time and the cultural differences the marriages have turned up as a lavish and an extravagant affair.  The age at which one gets married has also undergone a change as nowadays, the financial independence of partners have taken its ride over the bonding called marriage.
FILE - Figurines of a bride and a groom sit atop a wedding cake in Raleigh, N.C., on Tuesday May 8, 2012. A study of more than 3.5 million Americans finds that married people are less likely than singles, divorced or widowed folks to suffer any type of heart or blood vessel problem. The results were released Friday, March 28, 2014. (AP Photo/The News & Observer, Robert Willett)
  •  Marriage may also be said as a long-lasting association between partners beyond the birth of offspring.It also whispered to provide men with a demand-right of sexual access within a domestic group. A marriage also confers privileges and commitment on the partners, being the solitary means for the establishment of in-laws.
  • It is protection of women, safe in hands of a person whom she wants to be a friend whole of her life. The love she cherishes from her man is a treasure. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith in relation to make it last long. It is a trading of adoration.The partners act strong when the other feels weak.
  • Irrespective of the religion, in Indian secular society, the marriage vows occupy imminent place in the marriage. It is not only the words that matter, it is the emotions and the feelings being explained in the vows undertaken by the partners. They no longer tend to stay as two, but are one; two lives one soul. To honor the vows lies in the essence of the vows. Though the concept of marriage is disappearing, the honoring of vows too is following it.
  • The tenderness and unselfishness is being crushed under the ego held by the modern world creatures. Most people get married by fantasizing marriage as a beautiful box full of all things they have longed for;  companionship, intimacy, friendship etc, However, the fact is the box is empty in the beginning and each has to contribute to put in something to things back. Love has to be infused in marriage. The habit and form of giving, loving, caring, forgiving has to be learnt by partners to fill the box.
  • Success in marriage does not come by finding a right mate, but being a right mate. Initially, partners have nothing but each other, but as the relationship continues, they have to put in efforts to build blocks together. Abruptly they start being concerned of more about the judgment value of their habitat long with the value of our relationship. Things begin to mount up in lives and soon demand for money, energy, and precious time.
  • They understand that there are far more important principles at play. As a result, they have learned to invest their money, energy, and time into the most important essentials of a healthy marriage; Love and commitment, sexual loyalty, patience, trust, forgiveness, time, communication and selflessness.Bringing about the bits and pieces of the above will; for eternity entail nearly every bit of oneself which definitely is worth.
  • After all, a successful marriage is far more expensive than most of earthly things we run after with our lives. And will always last longer.
Along with rose comes the thorns, so the picture painted does not remains rosy
  • Marriage is tough and strenuous. It is equally frustrating and takes a lot of toil to live contentedly forever. This is a heads up for those soon to be married, those who are newly married, and even those who have been married for a while and still feel like they are getting the hang of it (so basically, all married couples). 
  • The the top five challenges couples face start with the in-laws, specially for the bride or the female partner, wherein she has to adjust herself to all new surroundings, new people, new customs etc.  Next on list what falls is the financial decisions, which obviously are assumed to be shared with the partner and in harsh cases, with the other family members, i.e., in-laws too.  
  • Not ignoring the other one which is commonly seen in Indian society is the child bearing and child rearing. The couple after a few months of their marriage is being chased for to have children, whether or not they are prepared for the same. Not only conceiving and giving birth is enough, the rearing of child also turns out to be a challenge thereafter. 
  • This is directly related to the next challenge in pipeline; i.e., sacrifice of the career by female partner to bring up the child, which unfortunately till date has been considered a big and sole responsibility of mother. Though, the creches and day centers are blooming like buds, even in not much civilized areas. Even though, small towns etc are also coming up with the franchisees of the well established day care centers, the child has to be under the supervision of the mother for a better security of the child.
  • To wrap the text, marriage is an essential phase of every one’s life. It sometimes definitely requires guts to go against the winds however, there has to be a mutual understanding as everything done together as a couple turns out to be far off better, by at least than one would do it alone. 
  •   Not withdrawing the confrontation involved in some issues, there is no such association as what is in married life. Living together as a married couple can lead to discovery of unpleasant personality characteristics and habits of one’s spouse. Is the spouse is going to be there for them when the times are tough thinking of heaven is no wonder in a successful marriage. Marriage takes a great toil, but its worth every ounce of it. Every juncture of marriage has its pluses and minuses that partners stumble upon in their lives together, but  it’s the push and tug of living in this world.                                                        By Harpreet Kaur Chadha
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