" Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but not make a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. " - Khalil Gibran
In this beautiful quote, Gibran has touched upon some of the most important facets of relationships. Making allowances for personal space and changing dynamics are the hallmark of every successful relationship. With change being the only constant in life, it is impossible for relationships to remain untouched by the permutations and combinations introduced by changing time and space.
Given that each individual himself or herself is constantly evolving over a period of time, his or her relationship with another also undergoes change in the same period. While one cannot put a stop to this change, it is entirely in our hands is to dictate the direction it takes.
A couple can decide to grow together or to grow apart. And spending time together plays an important role in determining the direction that one's relationship takes. While there is no denying that after a certain phase, discussions about EMI's, the budgets for a child's schooling and investments take precedence over sweet nothings, it is critical to remember that these material things revolve around the relationship and not the other way around. So when disagreements arise ( and they are bound do ) over financial matters, it is imperative to take a step back and evaluate how it would affect your relationship with your partner.
In no case should such disputes be allowed to mutate into cold wars or emotional blackmailing. Keep all channels of communication open even when the relationship hits an all-time low.
Here are a few tips that will help you spend grab some quality time even in the midst of a grueling routine
Travel together - While there is nothing better than a short vacation or a weekend hike to rekindle that romance, traveling together can also mean commuting together for work or even taking out the kids on a play date. Heading out for groceries? Drag your spouse along. Even a 15 minute commute is enough to get a conversation going. It is also sufficient to catch up on minor matters that one might have missed out in the everyday rush.
Workout together - As you grow old as a couple, you are the best person to understand the changes that your partner is going through. Hence, supporting each other's workout routine is probably the best gift that you can give to a spouse. Motivation and appreciation is always sweeter when it comes from a loved one.
Eat together- While it is a tough call given our busy schedules, it makes perfect sense to catch up over a meal. Try and ensure that you have at least one meal ( either breakfast or dinner ) together each day. And, most importantly, switch off the TV and keep the phone out of reach to allow for some real world conversation.
Couple Time Together ( No Kids ) - While kids are undoubtedly the center of our universe, it is critical that they do not breach our sacred 'couple' zone. Yes, it is important for every couple to have a few exclusive minutes for each other every day. Ok, if that is asking for too much, how about maybe an hour or two every week ? Don't rush off to attend to mundane matters after dropping off the kids at their weekend piano/guitar/karate/swimming classes. Instead, head to the nearest and coziest coffee shop for some intimate conversation. A lot can happen over coffee ! !
Form a small group with a few other couples ( people from your inner circle ). Take turns to arrange a weekly play for the kids so that everyone gets some couple time.
Finally, give it a try with all your heart. For there is nothing more tragic than being engulfed by loneliness while still being caught up in a relationship. By Sweta Biswal