By Rooshna Memon
Relationships are based on tolerance, respect and trust among many other qualities. When these are tempered with or are taken for granted, our claims to love endlessly turn irrelevant. As the English songwriter, Anne Clark, croons away: 'I've been sitting here all day Trying to understand Why people want to rule each other...', one can't help but wonder too as to why people who fall in love, transform into being passively tyrannical towards each other after some while. How many times have we fought to have the last word in an argument with our partners? How many times have we remained unmoved in forgiving our partners just to make them feel lowly or undeserving? How many times have we stamped their emotions with the boots of our fake egos? Isn't love supposed to be all about selflessness? Or is it a power game to realize who is stronger in the relationship? Well, for one, it is futile to run a relationship on the thresholds of ego. The dynamics in any relation are at constant war since they are bound to alter. Is there any human sans the need for sympathy, love, respect or support? None. Nada. Zilch. Then, all who draw a line of demarcation between their 'superiority' over others are fooling no one but themselves. That is essentially because there is something already amiss deep inside themselves. Having said that, the general idea of women being the weaker sex is obnoxious. Because both male and female can be compared to the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle who crave to find their ends being locked, in order to reduce the lack of perfection in their relationships. Both men and women are anatomically different and hence are different in terms of emotions and expressions too, which determine their quality of roles in their relationships. If men earn, support and provide then women reproduce, nurture and make the familial foundation strong. Both the sexes, when in a marital bond, are like the wheels of a car. When one is ruptured, rest assured, the car won't budge an inch ahead. Its time we shed our apathy towards our spouses or partners. Because, in our society we have hen-pecked husbands and women who feel like doormats and these 'species' take birth when their partners have the audacity to treat them with disrespect and intolerance. Love is not a power game and instead of looking outwardly and playing the blame tournament, perhaps it is best to first look inwardly and speculate if there is anything we can do to improve situations. For once, let us be selfless and undemanding. For once, let us not give in to the desire to underestimate our partners. Let love be love in the true sense of the word. And love is patient, kind, doesn't envy or boast and is neither arrogant nor rude. In the end, as the old adage goes, ‘treat others like how you want to be treated." To me, this sums up the answer to the universally complex question of who holds the whip in a relationship.